im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
