He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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