hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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