Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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