ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
