Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think i peed on brittanys purse
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
