He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
