I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
