thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
