overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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