by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
