I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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