In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
