does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
