He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
