When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
