Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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