Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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