Duck Duck Cougar?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
