Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
