he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i came on her dog
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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