His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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