Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
