Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
