whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
