If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I love having hate sex.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize