i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize