idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
