We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
