he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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