i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he fucked my hip out of place.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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