I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
