Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
