CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
