Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
