just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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