doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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