Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
