your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
