genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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