i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
