the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
