And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
