watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize