Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
