i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
