he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize