I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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