ya dads aren't the best wingmen
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize