I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
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