at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Let's get the cat blown out
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
