I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We're too hungover to prance.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
