My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
