p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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