ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
