My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize