I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I am one with the molecules
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
