So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
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My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
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I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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