Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
