Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
