just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
