my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's not a walk of shame if you run
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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